SHIH TZU FANCIERS OF SOUTHERN CA

This site is dedicated to Dog Tales, real and imagined. Some are funny, some are poignant, all are from our dog friends in cyperdog space. Once a month Dog Tales will be changed.  Each month we will have a "Pick of the Litter." that is the best joke, short story, or poem contributed by our cyperdog friends. You can vote for your favorite Tale each month. STFSC will publish the monthly favorites. You can revote for a monthly winner or pick a new Tale. At the end of the year, STFSC will count the votes. Best in Show and Reserve will be published. BIS will receive a copy of the Shih Tzu Fancier's Cookbook. Reserve will receive a double frame picture holder. So don't forget to vote.

If you have a Dog Tale you would like to share, email it to us. The  Tale doesn't have to be original, for example something funny a comedian said or wrote about dogs is perfectly acceptable. If you know the author, please include it; if you don't use "Unknown."  Be sure to include your name and email address, so we can reach you, if you are a winner. Be sure to  recommend STFSC site to your friends!

a12 Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot  puppies.-Gene HIll

 

b12. HOW TO PHOTOGRAPH A SHIH TZU PUPPY   Remove film from box an load into camera. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw into trash. Remove puppy from trash; brush coffee grinds from face. Choose suitable background for photo. Mount camera on tripod and focus. Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth. Set puppy in place and return to camera. Forget about placement and crawl after puppy on knees. Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with the other. Get tissue and clean nose print from lens. Take flash cube from puppy's mouth and throw in trash. Put magazines back on coffee table. Try to get puppy's attention-- squeak toy over your head. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage. Jump up and grab puppy by scruff, "No! Bad Dog! Outside!" Call significant other to clean up mess. Fix a drink. Vow to try again tomorrow.

c12 Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant!-Unknown

d12 In dog years, I'm dead.-Unknown

e12 Dogs feel strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise to bark violently at the dog in the car behind you, next to you, or in front of you, when you are about to take a sip of anything wet.-Unknown

f12 Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside a dog it's too dark to read.-Groucho Marx

g12 A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance and to turn around 3 times before lying down.-Robert Benchley

h12 No animal should jump up on the dining room table unless he is absolutely sure he can hold his own in the conversation.-Fran Lebowitz

i12 My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up 99 cents a can. That's about $7,000 in dog money.-Joe Weinstein

 

j12 DOG COMMANDMENTS   Thou shalt not act half-starved whenever thou watches me eat. Thou shalt not lift thy leg to water the Christmas tree. Thou shalt not lay down next to me and make licking and popping noises. Thou shalt not treat my shoes as your chew toy. Thou shalt keep thy nose out of the kitty litter box. Thou shalt not pass gas and then walk away as if I have offended thee. Thou shalt not run away in pursuit of a good time. Thou hast been neutered. Thou shalt not hide thy bones under the covers or under my pillow. Thou shalt not harmonize with the cat at 2 A.M. in the morning. Thou shalt not sneak up and lick me in the mouth while I am sleeping.